Work Part 1

We knew going into this trip that we were going to be building a park or playground of some sort for Casa Hogar Vida. What we didn’t know was how. But we started out by cutting out shrubs and trees. I even used a machete to cut off branches of trees.


It was fantastic, but hard work. A machete wears your arm out quickly, and wore me out a lot quicker. However, I must note that the weather in Choluteca was unlike any I have experienced before. For the first time in my experience we came during the rainy season or at least the very beginning of it. I have never experienced humidity higher than this, especially at temperatures in the 110—120°F ranges. My body had trouble handling it. I quickly over exerted myself and had to sit out and cool off. That afternoon we went on the first of two evangelism trips. Two things stand out on the first trip. The first: when I was sharing the Gospel with a man and his daughter, I asked if he believed in God. His response: “Only a fool does not believe in God.” Powerful words. They will stick with me for a long time. The second event occurred while my group was waiting for the other group to finish evangelizing. While we waited, we shared the Gospel with some of the locals there, and after we finished, a young teenager came up to us and just spilled out his thankfulness toward God. He slowly told us his story. He was diagnosed with cancer a couple of years ago, and how he had to make several trips to the capital to receive treatment. How God provided for him and his mom so they could make the trip. As he sat there he told us that he was completely cured. I teared and could only thank God for this boy’s life. It was touching moment.

Traveling to Choluteca

 Choluteca, Honduras. After a day of travel this was our final destination. This trip was my third. The airport in the capital of Honduras, Tegucigalpa, is considered one of the top ten most dangerous places to land. The pilot has to fly through a valley and then land on a short strip. Not long after our return, a plane skidded off the runway killing a handful of people. Granted the weather was awful, but the place is not ideal to land. But I love landing there anyway. It’s a beautiful flight into the capital. From there it is 3—4 hour drive to Choluteca. It is a harrowing drive the first time you do it. Think two lane roads in the mountains, but instead of people patiently following each through the mountains everyone goes around each other. So just imagine a long, yellow school bus (which we were in) high tailing it around a semi on the side of a mountain. It can be a little scary seeing the oncoming vehicles as the bus driver pulls off this tricky maneuver. I do have to say that the drivers the church hires are fantastic at what they do.

The Rich & Poor: From Champaign to Choluteca

“Only the fool does not believe in God.”

It’s always hard for me to sit down and write about what happens in Honduras. How do you capture an entire week in a “this is what happened…” letter? What sticks with me the most is what is quoted above by a man we met while evangelizing in a community one afternoon. It makes me stop and think every time I remember it, and then part of me despairs for my coworker who is an atheist, and for the many other who don’t believe. How is it that the poor truly recognize the need for God? Like complete opposites, the rich (insert “the West” here or me or you) find it so easy to deny God. In our prosperity we find it so easy to forget where our blessings come from. They are thankful for every small blessing that comes along. They truly feel God’s provision. How do we as “the rich” come to truly appreciate God’s gifts? Should we follow the command of Matthew 19:21 and give all our possessions to the poor? I don’t know if it is as simple as that though, or maybe it is. Perhaps Matthew 25:31-46 help the picture. “For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.” This doesn’t explicitly say the poor, but this could basically describe the poor. So perhaps by making a small seemingly insignificant trip to Honduras helps bring this scripture to light. But I unfortunately can’t make a long term trip to Honduras (Oh how I wish I could!). So the question is how do I take me riches and give to the poor in Champaign-Urbana. What does that look like? Well here are some places to start: Champaign County Christian Health Center, Christian Mercy and Justice Network, Cunningham Children’s Home, empty tomb, and Salt & Light are just a small sample of ways we can serve the poor with us. So for me this means I plan on sitting down and deciding which ministry I feel drawn to and then jumping in. This summer is a perfect time to volunteer. So maybe I’ll eventually write more about what happened in Honduras, but this is what is on my heart and I really need to share it.

A Refining Process

How do you help a friend in God's refining when they are several states away?

Free Kindle Books

So Amazon has many books they are giving away for free for the Kindle. Now I'm sure your first thought is well I don't have a Kindle. Well neither do I, I don't want one either. However, you can download the Kindle for PC and then you are basically getting books for free. Granted you still have to read them on your PC, but if you are like me a free book is a free book.

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/VacuumOfDeath

Dying to Myself (A collection of poetry from last April)

Part One
I sit here in my thoughts.
Drowning in a sea
of desires and longings
of hopes and promises.
A desire to do your bidding
gets overshadowed
by a longing...
A longing for company
for a partner, an equal.
"It is not good
for man to be alone."
Send me someone suitable
so I stop digging in dumpsters
and falling into snares
with every cute girl I see.
Every cute girl
who is willing to dance with me.
Every turn of her hip,
every smile she slips
leads me down a path
away from your loving embrace
and into the arms of death.
She doesn't see it,
and she doesn't know it,
but she does the dance of death.

Part Two
I am consumed by my sin.
Like a flood, wave after wave
pours over me
and I lose myself to it.
I give in and then proceed
to enjoy myself.
And like a breath of fresh air,
I remember who I am.
A child of God.
Set apart and sanctified.
But the waves keep coming,
and I lose myself
and I go deeper into my sin.
Each time I sink
I go deeper
sometimes flowing with the events
sometimes pushing the boundaries
daring myself to go further.
A battle is fought
in my soul.
Over and over I give in
because I don't trust You
to provide and I'm not patient.
Violently I'm thrown to the shore,
and new waves appear
waves of guilt and shame
and stark reminders of how I,
how I chose sin over you.

Part Three
I am haunted,
haunted by her face,
haunted by my actions,
haunted by my failure,
haunted by my guilt,
haunted by my shame.
I gave in to temptation,
and willingly went against You.
In Your mercy and Your grace,
I am forgiven, but do I accept?
No, I want to go back for more.
I want to force your hand,
and see if you really love me.
This horrible wretched person
I envision myself to be.
I act out like a child
and shout, "Will you love me now?"
and secretly hope that You say yes,
all the while hoping to find love in my sin.
But there is no love there.
Only death.
But will it be too late?
And what about the others,
the others who see me
who see me as a leader to be?

Part Four
My thoughts are not on You.
My thoughts think of sinful things
Things that hinder
and do not help.
Desires that have a rightful place.
A place that is NOT above you.
But somehow these desires
get mixed up,
and think they are more important than You.
I sit here and ponder,
what each would be like.
The curve of her hips,
The taste of her neck,
The smell of her hair...
I trip and stumble flat,
and I start all over again.
How do I look at Your face
on days like this?
How do I repent?
When I can't get her out of my head?
When I'm caught on every word she said,
and every turn of her head.

Part Five
So...
What should I say?
What should I do?
Here I am.
Thinking about her...
Instead of You.
The temptation she brings...
Every turn of her hips...
Every smile she slips...
Is like Eden's fruit that drips...
I hear a whisper...
"Don't partake
for her sake
and yours."
And then a shout,
"Who are You
 to deny me?"
And I freeze
as it dawns on me
that the shout
that bitter awful shout
came from me.
and I cry a little.
and die a little.